Billy blog

Friday, January 28, 2005

religion and mythology

i don't understand how people can call something religion and then call the exact same thing mythology. its like calling two apples an orange and an apple. Religion being the orange, try to descise the fact that its really mythology. like the orange trying to hid the fact that its really an apple. have i confused you yet?

Religion to me, is exactly like mythology. God(s), stories (the qoran or bible) etc etc. I am a science girl, religion doesn't make sence to me nor does fate or destany. i believe in serindipity











i just found out theres no such thing as the real world, just a lie you have to rise above

Saturday, January 15, 2005

Nick Names

first of all, why are they called "Nick Names"? why don't we call them what they are abreveasions, well some of them are abreveasions. But why aren't they called "diff name" or use whats already around we should call them a.k.a's (also known as) we should get rid of the "Nick Name" thing, we are giving the nicks of the of the world far to much power

now to my real reason for this blog. i want a cool mob/dj nick name.

like micky blue eyes, or "little tino" Veeta. you know how mobsters have thsoe really cool nick names that either come from a physical thing or a personality trait, i.e. Johnny tight lips.

my name would be.........Lolo something something
i have no idea



foget abot it

Thursday, January 13, 2005

Happy, Sad, Happy

I always find it amazing how simple things can make you sad as well as happy. I was down today, depressed, and really tired, frustrated with math, and some other stuff i wont mention. wanting to vent to my regualr ventor, no one online i could talk to about it, feeling worse. Because of my buddy Al i now associate feeling better after depressed with ice cream. We, of corse, we had no ice cream and just as i'm about to want to cry and just have some one hold me, dad comes home with ice cream, and two mangos (yummy) so now i'm feeling better, although i'd still like to vent, or just hang with friends







love makes the world go round

Wednesday, January 12, 2005

People Watching

that title sounds stalkerish.
Does anyone like to watch people? just sit back and observe. You can learn a lot about a person by just watching them. You don't need to talk to get to know someone. Just watch them and there manerisums. By watching people you can see when they are lieing or embarassed or happy just by watching there facial expresions adn body laguage and with MSN its getting easier to determine when people are lying.
do you want to know why? i have this theroy........
becuase everyone is on msn they get shy because they aren't actually talking ot the people face to face, they aren't use to hearing peoples voices. therefore no one wants to talk to anyone on the phone or in person, They are all to use to hiding behind there screens. While on msn we can hide our feelings, thoughts and fears behind a computer screen. Because we are not on the phone we no longer hide our voice tone on the phone, and we don't know how to hide our feelings on our face infront of people, nor do we know how to hide our body laguage when talkign to people. I have noticed a rapid decline in phone calls since MSN and instant messaging has come out, as well as e-mail. it is eaier and faster to just send an e-mail. So this means we are getting shy, passive and lazy. That is a deadly combo.

chalange yourself to go a day, week or month with out internet or instantmessaging. cut your self of from the cyber world. Or call someone to just talk (ooooo scarey thought huh?)
be free







I want to break free, i want to break free! Oh i want to be free!!



Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Movies and TV Shows

I hate movies and TV shows. Everything is always sooooo romantic! Even commericals! no wounder little girls/the female population are hopeless romantics. We grow up watching these tv shows and movies where the guys are romantic and the kiss comes at the perfect time and the girls always look good and the guy always looks good.
i wish i was in a movie so i could look perfect and beautiful and have the perfect kiss with teh perfect guy. the only problem is something stupid always happens in the middle to make them realize how much the love/miss each other (awwwwwwwwnnnnnnoying)
yeah but the worst part is i love to hate them, meaning i love to watch them but then i start to feel more and more lonely, its a horrible visous circle and i'm getting dizzy




let me off the ride

Monday, January 10, 2005

Music

I want my clarinet back, misha has it, i want it back, now! like righ tnow, this very second! *all of a sudden lauras clarinet pop in oiut of no where onto her lap*
wow awsome, ok, no i want.................Heath Ledger, right now! *nothing* damn

I want sheet music for the broadway show Evita and i want to learn how to play my guitar. i want to learn how to play the chelo, and i wishi new how to play the piano better.
i love music, al of it. From country to rap to opera to metal to punk, it all rocks



i'm counting sheep but running out

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Snow

It snowed most of yesturday, and its snowing again today. i love the snow
we got out of school early because so many kids just left. The school closed becasue there were more teachers than students. my largest class consisted of 6 kids, and in the two class i actually went to today in both we did work. i'm glad i went.

Everyone says the Victorians freek out when it snows. WELL YEAH! how often does it snow in victoria? once a year at most and most the time the snow is here on friday gone by monday. Victorians don't know how to function in the snow, and half the reason is everything gets closed when it snows. so of corse they don't know how to function in the snow, they've never had to. If we would leave roads and things open i'm pretty sure in enough time we wouldn't be so "scared" by snow. And half that scare is just natural cation. we don't know what to do so we drive slower, close highways and walk or take busses. We're not stupid, as most people think we are.



The capacity to care is the thing that gives life its deepest meaning and significance
~Pablo Casals

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

@#$%&*@$#%**$@#$$%

FUCK!
i hate math! i can't wait to grad so that i don't have to take another stupid math corse!!!!! ROAR! and the irony of it all is i'll prolly want to take a class the requires math so i'll have to take a math class.
the is the first wednesday in a long time that i've been home and my fave show is on on wednesdays, at 9:00 on channel 8. but guess what, its not on tonight. That just lightend my mood a whole bunch. OH yeah. ROAR AND GROWEL!
oh well an awome movie is on (Dirty Rotten Scoudrals) its all about con artists, nothing dirty as i'm sure some of you are thinking
anyway, feeling better, relaxing, movies help


A is your adult which is what i'll never be

Monday, January 03, 2005

Steve

i love you steve. thank you
if i ever lose you as a friend it will be the saddest day in history





I had to find you, tell you i need you, tell you i've set you apart

Sunday, January 02, 2005

Favorite

this is my favorite poem
my second faveorite is also by Edger Allen Poe, its called teh sleeper
(i highly recomend both)

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -Only this, and nothing more.'Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December,And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.Eagerly I wished the morrow; - vainly I had sought to borrowFrom my books surcease of sorrow - sorrow for the lost Lenore -For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels named Lenore -Nameless here for evermore.And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtainThrilled me - filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating`'Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door -Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; -This it is, and nothing more,'Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,`Sir,' said I, `or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide the door; -Darkness there, and nothing more.Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream beforeBut the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave no token,And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, `Lenore!'This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, `Lenore!'Merely this and nothing more.Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.`Surely,' said I, `surely that is something at my window lattice;Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore; -'Tis the wind and nothing more!'Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,In there stepped a stately raven of the saintly days of yore.Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door -Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door -Perched, and sat, and nothing more.Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,`Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I said, `art sure no craven.Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night's Plutonian shore!'Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,Though its answer little meaning - little relevancy bore;For we cannot help agreeing that no living human beingEver yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door -Bird or beast above the sculptured bust above his chamber door,With such name as `Nevermore.'But the raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only,That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.Nothing further then he uttered - not a feather then he fluttered -Till I scarcely more than muttered `Other friends have flown before -On the morrow will he leave me, as my hopes have flown before.'Then the bird said, `Nevermore.'Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,`Doubtless,' said I, `what it utters is its only stock and store,Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful disasterFollowed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore -Till the dirges of his hope that melancholy burden boreOf "Never-nevermore."'But the raven still beguiling all my sad soul into smiling,Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird and bust and door;Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linkingFancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore -What this grim, ungainly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yoreMeant in croaking `Nevermore.'This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressingTo the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom's core;This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease recliningOn the cushion's velvet violet lining that the lamp-light gloated o'er,But whose velvet violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o'er,She shall press, ah, nevermore!Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censerSwung by Seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.`Wretch,' I cried, `thy God hath lent thee - by these angels he has sent theeRespite - respite and nepenthe from thy memories of Lenore!Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe, and forget this lost Lenore!'Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil! -Whether tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted -On this home by horror haunted - tell me truly, I implore -Is there - is there balm in Gilead? - tell me - tell me, I implore!'Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'`Prophet!' said I, `thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!By that Heaven that bends above us - by that God we both adore -Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels named Lenore -Clasp a rare and radiant maiden, whom the angels named Lenore?'Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'`Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shrieked upstarting -`Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!Leave my loneliness unbroken! - quit the bust above my door!Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!'Quoth the raven, `Nevermore.'And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sittingOn the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon's that is dreaming,And the lamp-light o'er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floorShall be lifted - nevermore!

Torn

I"m torn between two guys!!
ones a hometown guy, god he's awsome, makes me laugh and the sweetest guy i've ever had the pleaseure of being friends with
the other guy also hometown guy, but lives in Vancover now, and is 3 years older than me (not a big deal, i know) he flatters me, and makes me feel good about myself. Not a lot of guys can do that.
I don't know what to do, well actually i do, but #2 makes me wounder if i should fallow through on my plans with #1.

if not one then the other ;)

Saturday, January 01, 2005

new years

the new year is upon us, actually its laredy past. it has come but not yet gone, and you'd think this would be a deep and meaningful blog about last year and the days to come, guess what, you're wrong! as usual! AHAHAHAHAH

ehem, annnnnnyway
i actually don't have much to say. yay nothing to say. i have no reflectionswxdgfvbjmnk,./

i love my drunkin brother. he rocks
he leaves tomorrow :( sadness. i'm going to miss his crazy shinaniguns, he's moving out to endmonton to be with his girlfriend. isn't he cool.
any way, i'm bored

..........and we need it yesturday
yesturday, then its already to late.......